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10 Beautiful Postcards is some new craic from thecatamites

A cat with a guitar listens to the protagonist musing about something or other, it's unclear what, sorry.

When the history of our inglorious medium comes to be written, that tome will be adorned with quiet footnotes and furtive scribbles in the margin, all summoning a single name: thecatamites. Because I’m certain whichever futuremonk employed by the Church of Ubisoft to complete this chronicle will harbour a secret love for Space Funeral and Magic Wand and Goblet Grotto and Murder Dog IV. Among those inky lines there might also be a mention of 10 Beautiful Postcards. This is the latest and upcoming undertaking of Mr Stephen ‘thecatamites’ Gillmurphy, a maker of seditious games who remains at large in an unknown location. It is described as a “children’s game about exploring a large and mysterious hotel”. Here’s a trailer.

Plenty of yellow, plenty of hot pink, and a sudden shift into sickening first-person head-bobbing. Yes, this appears to be a legitimate thecatamites. But I can see why you would be sceptical. There’s fun, thematic music in the trailer, as opposed to warbling avant-garde terror noise, and even a semi-concrete release date. The unwelcome and slow professionalisation of Harmony Zone Corporation continues to corrupt the creator and must be stopped.

Here you will be “navigating flat planes of exciting content” to the music of New Vaders, a musical force of unknown strength and origin who have been known to collaborate with the wayward Gillmurphy.

10 Beautiful Postcards is due out in “mid-2019”. We await its release with all the trepidation we have learned to cultivate in these uncertain times.

Abraham Castro

The author Abraham Castro

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